Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Catch up

How crazy is my life?  I have had to contact a journal that I had a story published in-- with the hope that they might have a copy of my article.  I can't find it anywhere.  I suspect it got lost in the flood... along with a few other precious things.

I am laughing because I began this blog with the intention of reflecting on the intersections of my life and now four months later, I can sit down to write an entry... BECAUSE THE SEMESTER IS OVER!

Dear Goddess, I have got to find another formula for having a successful life.  The constant anxiety, the unrelenting fear of failure, the inability to pace myself is a deadly formula.  When will I ever be able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with she who looks back at me.  I have  Ph. D but I have no idea where my research should take me next... What do I want to discover, create, consider... yep, just drawing a blank... 

On the simple side, my son is close to being potty trained and preschool looms on his horizon.  We are supposed to be done breastfeeding before he can attend (according to his teacher) but I am pretty much going to let that one be.  I never imagined I was going to be one of the women who breastfed until the later years (by western cultural standards) but here I am.  My son shows no signs of stopping and quite frankly I am just not sure why it matters so much.  Occasionally, it drives me crazy to be on call but -- truly this is a finite amount of time and I don't want to spend it worrying about what other people think. 

The summer looks ripe and full of possibilities.  The zoo, MOCHA, Studio Grow, Discovery Museum, the Library... good stuff!  I am also hoping to calm the house down, sort through stuff, paint a few walls and create a haven for my little family so next academic year is not quite so brutal. 
We shall see and I will try to keep you more informed.  I might even begin to write some actual collide and transform my life.

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